Lung Cancer....Perhaps.

Come One, Come All, We're Going To The Bingo Hall!  This was the message I got from my dear friend Kendra just the other day.  I blew her off.  Then she made the proclamation again.  So I figured, what the heck, let's give it a try.  And I took my sisters.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Kendra.  She is one of my very best friends.  She challenges me to do new things, some that I am comfortable with, some that I am not.  Going to Bingo, was one of those that I was excited about, but oh so very nervous.  With good reason, I quickly found out.

We made a plan.  Keely was going to come here, change her clothes and we would head to the Bingo Hall to save seats.  Kim was going to meet us there, as was Kendra, Kelsi and Jill.   A couple of mistakes here.  1.  Keely and I should have NEVER been the first to arrive.  Evidently, we had "NEWBIE" printed on our foreheads and as soon as we walked into the smoke filled hall, it felt like everyone turned to stare.  EVERYONE.  So, we just awkwardly stood in the hallway, trying to assess the situation.  It was uncomfortable.  Very uncomfortable.  2.  We should have brought some sort of sword to slice through the smoke in order to find a seat.

We finally made a move for a table, and sat down like maybe we knew what we were doing.  We didn't.  We just sat there looking around, while everyone was still staring at us.  Then, Keely announces she is going to go to the car to get her drink.  So...I'm now alone.  In a Bingo Hall.  With a lot of toothless people staring at me.  Let the fingernail biting begin.

Kim finally showed up, fought her way through the haze, choking and sputtering her way to our table and looked as nervous as I felt.  3 newbies.  Not a sole talking to us, not a clue what to do.

Finally, Kendra and her crew show up and show us the ropes. 

Let the fun begin!

When you pay your money, the not so friendly lady up front hands you this entire pile of craziness that you are supposed to make sense of.  There are like 3 gazillion bingo boards that are assembled in packets, some that are flying around solo, small door prize tickets...just a whole pile of Bingo Goodness.

Kendra and Kelsi (being the wise, experienced Bingo players) showed us what to do, answered my thousands of questions and were very patient throughout the entire night.

Who knew that there were about 104 different ways to play Bingo.  It's not just your traditional up, down, diagonal and across business anymore.  There are things like starbursts, crazy T's, floating 6 packs, postage stamps and picture frames.  This information might have excited me if I had time to actually look at any of those types of Bingos to see if I was winning.  I was so worried about daubing (we played something like 28 cards for EACH game!) I just kept saying this, over and over. "Kendra, check my cards, Kendra, check my cards."  I was totally relying on her to yell Bingo for me if need be.

I knew going with Kendra and the girls was going to be a blast.  However, I didn't know that I was going to laugh nearly as much as I did.  And, I came home with more than I left with.  Always a bonus.  Don't get excited, I didn't get to yell Bingo, which was my ultimate goal.  But, Kim's ticket got called for a door prize, which we were sure would be  free pass for next week.  But it was really $50.00.  AND...her number was called on the "Good Neighbor" Door Prize, so I GOT $25.00 JUST FOR SITTING NEXT TO HER!  Wahoo!

Here are some very valuable lessons I learned in my first Bingo experience.

1. Buttoning your pants at the Bingo Hall is optional.

2.  People are SERIOUS when they play Bingo.  (There was a lady one table over from us, who I affectionately named BULLDOG, that was overhead shouting such things as, "Your Mama!", "Get the H*** outta here!", "New Caller!" and a whole lotta F bombs.

3. Bingo is not an activity where you can people watch.  There are PLENTY of people that draw your attention, but you just don't have time.

4. I think you can only be a super serious Bingo player if you have a Bingo Bag, complete with a whole rainbow of daubers and your good luck charms spread all around you on the table.

5. Don't even consider breathing during the lightening round.  It won't happen.

6.  You don't have to wear a bra to Bingo.

7. Cheering when you win is frowned upon.  Unless your name is Arthur.  Arthur appreciated our cheering. The rest of the table didn't.

Kendra says if we go two more times, we're officially Bingo Babes and she'll buy us a T-shirt.  It might be worth it.

The whole night was stressful.  Keely has her cards (all for ONE game!) lined up and is ready to go!

I was really glad Jill was as confused as we were.

Kim is not overly happy that I am keeping her from her daubing duties!

Kendra won $50 on some Weasel game that I don't understand.  Hooray for her, though!

Kendra is the only one who is truly is happy because she's the only one who knows what's going on!