15 years

15 years.  It's a long time.  An even longer time if that's how long you've experienced a heartache of huge proportions. A long time to miss someone who you so dearly love. Trust me, it's a LONG time.

15 years ago this morning, we were forced to say goodbye to the most prized treasure of our lives.  She was our rock.  Our friend.  Our supporter.  Our shoulder to cry on.  Our "wait till your father gets home" threatener.  Our chef.  Our bill payer. Our nurse. Our doctor. Our house cleaner.  Our MOM.  There is no other lady like her.  She was the best.  Simply the best.

There is not a day in the past 15 years that I haven't talked to her, prayed to her, whispered things in my head to her.  There isn't a day that I haven't missed her, wished she was here with me and prayed that I become a mom just like her.

I look at Reilly and know there are parts of my mom in his smile.  In his orneriness.  In his fits.  He's just like me, and I'm just like her.  I wouldn't rather it be any other way.  I know that she would be proud of him.  I also know that he will always have a very special angel always looking over his shoulder and keeping him safe.  Just as we all do.

15 years is a long time.  Although, if I stop long enough, I can remember her smile.  I can remember her laugh.  I can remember how angry she would be, and then 5 minutes later, she'd be giving you a hug.  I remember everything about her.

No matter the days.  No matter the years.  I'll never forget.

She'll always be my mom.  She'll always be in my heart.