Poop On A Plane!

Yep. You read the title right. POOP ON A PLANE. Let me explain.

If you've been keeping up with the blog, or our lives, you know that we were fortunate enough to spend Christmas in Florida this year. We flew out of South Bend at an insane time of 5:45 AM on Christmas Eve, had about an 1.5 hour lay over in Cincinnati, and then continued the journey on a different plane into Ft. Myers. The first plane ride went great. It was a simple plane, with only about 30 seats. Reilly did great! This was after all, his 3rd plane ride.

We had time in Cincinnati to stretch our legs and grab a quick bite to eat. Got on the next plane, again no worries...arrived in sunny Florida with smiles on our faces!

Let me set up the departure day for you a little bit here...we didn't have to fly out of Florida until 5:30 PM, so we had most of the day. That morning, Aunt Kim fed Rei-Guy 4, (THAT'S RIGHT, FOUR) cornbread muffins. WITH REAL CORN IN THEM! He LOVED, LOVED, LOVED them. I guess she didn't see anything wrong with him eating his weight in cornbread muffins, so she just kept giving him more.

We left for the airport about 2:30 and made it through security with no problems. We waited until the last minute to change Rei's diaper and onto the plane we went. We were lucky enough to be seated in a 3 person row, without a third person, so Rei was able to sit by himself and wiggle around! About 30 minutes into the 2.5 hour ride,the following conversation took place:
Dave: "Babe, I think he stinks."
Me: "I'm sure it was just gas."
Dave: "I'm not thinking it's gas, it's still lingering...people are going to start looking."
Me: "So what do you want me to do."
Dave: "I guess take him to the bathroom and change his diaper."
REMINDER: WE ARE ON A PLANE.
Me: "Seriously?"
Dave: (now holding Reilly) "He leaked through, and it smells REALLY bad."
Me: "Ok."

So Reilly and I head to the bathroom, only to quickly realize that the "drink service" is blocking our way, so we turn around and head to the front of the plane through first class (I asked if we could do that first, since I didn't know the proper plane etiquette!) We got into the postage stamp sized bathroom, which of course doesn't have a changing area and I stand Reilly up on the toilet and try to get him all balanced. I quickly assess the situation, and learn rapidly that there is POOP EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only is his diaper loaded, it is the worst blowout of his entire 14 month life. There was poop clear up his back, all the way to his neck.

AND THERE WAS CORN, LOTS OF CORN.

Through trying to hold my breath and not gag, I am undressing him and trying to clean him up. I only went into the bathroom with a diaper and the container of wipes. I went through an entire (filled before we left Florida) container of wipes because I essentially had to give my son a bath in the airplane bathroom. Nice. As I was trying to stay poop free and balance Reilly at the same as wiping him from head to toe, he was playing with the faucet. We were near completion when my arm started to get wet. I quickly turned to the right to turn off the faucet that he had managed to turn on. It wasn't on.

THAT'S RIGHT, NOW MY NAKED SON IS PEEING ON ME. IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM.

So. There's about 400 poopy wipes, a naked boy, pee streaming down the wall and myself and a laughing baby. My only response to the pee was to grab the clean diaper that I had brought with me and cover up as quick as I could. I had to turn the used wipes, inside out to clean up some of the new bodily function that Reilly has graced the bathroom with. We finally got all cleaned up, but had no diaper to put on, and I couldn't exactly put the poopy pajamas back on either.

THIS IS THE REASON MY SON STREAKED THROUGH FIRST CLASS. Yep, that's right. I loaded him up, naked as the day he was born, and carried him through first class. There was pointing, elbow jabbing and laughing. I got back to our seats, and with a horrified look on his face, Dave says, "Um, what's going on." My response?, "Get a diaper, put it on your son and just don't ask." So he did.

You should also know that we are the parents that did not put extra clothes in the diaper bag prior to leaving Florida, therefore, my son flew home to snow and freezing rain in his SWIMMING TRUNKS. We got off the plane in Cincinnati, with Reilly in shorts, socks pulled up to his knees, a winter jacket and a winter hat. And that's how he stayed until we got back home to Mishawaka.