My Son Exploded In The Hallway!

This post is not for the faint at heart.  It's not for the weak stomached.  You've been warned.

If you know my family well, you also probably know that Reilly normally has a really hard time pooping.  I mean, a REALLY hard time.  The entire process usually starts sometime in the morning and isn't productive until shortly after nap time.  It's a very loud, very painful ordeal.  Even with medicine every morning in his milk.  He grunts, groans and cries.  He also sits down, no matter what he is doing, so he can grab his knees and scrunch up his face.  It breaks my heart every time.  He usually times it just about right so we go through the process in a public place.  Like a grocery cart or a restaurant as soon as the waiter walks up.  It's fantastic.

Well, tonight we were getting ready to get in the shower.  Another thing about my son is that he really likes his "naked time."  So generally, we get him undressed in the living room, and then he gets to do a couple of naked laps around the house and then runs into the shower.  It was no different this time.  He got undressed, started his laps and the giggling began.

I went to the bathroom to get the shower ready and saw him in the hallway.  All of a sudden, he sat down and groaned.  REALLY LOUDLY.  I shouted, "No, Reilly, You don't have a diaper on."  He stood up and continued his run.  On the second time around, he sat down once again, and groaned REALLY LOUDLY.  I again shouted, "No buddy!"  He didn't move.  He was literally 29 inches from the toilet, so I quick grabbed him up (he stayed in what we call the pooping position, knees pulled up, face scrunched) and I whipped him over to the toilet.  When I saw whipped him to the toilet, I mean flew him through the air at a high rate of speed.

TOO LATE.

As he was flying through the air, MY SON EXPLODED.  More poop than I have ever seen come out of him.  GREEN poop.  MASSIVE AMOUNTS of poop.  SLIMY poop.  POOP that splatters on the floor when it lands POOP.  So much poop.

As I'm holding him on the toilet (which was unnecessary since he was done) I began to survey the damage.  There was a small amount of poop where he was first sitting.  There was poop on the hallway closet door, sliming its way to the floor, leaving a nice green streak in its aftermath.  There was poop on the bathroom floor.  There was poop on the outside of the toilet.  So much poop.

Thankfully Dave has a stronger stomach than I do, he was the poop cleaner upper.  I was gagging, Dave was scooping poop and Reilly was standing naked in the bathroom screaming, thinking we were mad at him.  Dave sent me to the basement to get more paper towel.  As I was down there, I hear screaming, then giggling, then screaming again.  Then I hear Dave just start laughing.  Evidently, Reilly wasn't quite done...he then started peeing all over the floor.  AWESOME.

As Dave was cleaning the remaining poop up, he says, "Well, at least we have hard wood floors, this would be really bad on carpet."  Yea.  At least we have hard wood floors.

With A Heavy Heart...

Summer vacation is officially over.  I just put my favorite little boy in bed (I know, it's only 6:05 pm...but he is a 12 hour sleeper, and tomorrow begins our early morning routines.), which means our summer days have come to an end, and it breaks my heart.
I remember this day last summer, and it was hard.  I never dreamed it would get harder, rather than easier.  But I am here to tell you, this summer is 10x harder than last.  Reilly and I have have had so much fun this summer. Just the two of us (most of the time) and we've made so many memories.
All weekend, with this time looming, I've been trying to focus on the positive points.  And we've had plenty of good times, but they are hard to focus on when my heart is hurting about being seperated tomorrow morning. 
Our summer has been filled with busy times, lots of giggling, playing and napping.  We've been to the zoo about 4 gazillion times (we even know most of the animal's names!), we've played outside, run through the sprinkler, taken walks, had lunch with friends, went shopping, cuddled in bed and watched the Sprout Channel.  We've played trucks and watched for trains, we've chased birds across the yard and swam in his little pool.  We've cleaned the house, done laundry, washed dishes and swept.  We've visited family members,gone to the beach,  gone on boat rides (Rei's first!), swam in lakes and eaten watermelon in our bathing suits.
It makes me sad that tomorrow starts the hustle and bustle of "real" life again, and we often forget to take the time to do these super fun and super special things together.  I hope that I can remember to take time each day and just cherish my little man who won't be little forever.
I always knew that I wanted to be a teacher, but now winning the lottery and being a stay at home mom wouldn't be a bad idea, either.

Lung Cancer....Perhaps.

Come One, Come All, We're Going To The Bingo Hall!  This was the message I got from my dear friend Kendra just the other day.  I blew her off.  Then she made the proclamation again.  So I figured, what the heck, let's give it a try.  And I took my sisters.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Kendra.  She is one of my very best friends.  She challenges me to do new things, some that I am comfortable with, some that I am not.  Going to Bingo, was one of those that I was excited about, but oh so very nervous.  With good reason, I quickly found out.

We made a plan.  Keely was going to come here, change her clothes and we would head to the Bingo Hall to save seats.  Kim was going to meet us there, as was Kendra, Kelsi and Jill.   A couple of mistakes here.  1.  Keely and I should have NEVER been the first to arrive.  Evidently, we had "NEWBIE" printed on our foreheads and as soon as we walked into the smoke filled hall, it felt like everyone turned to stare.  EVERYONE.  So, we just awkwardly stood in the hallway, trying to assess the situation.  It was uncomfortable.  Very uncomfortable.  2.  We should have brought some sort of sword to slice through the smoke in order to find a seat.

We finally made a move for a table, and sat down like maybe we knew what we were doing.  We didn't.  We just sat there looking around, while everyone was still staring at us.  Then, Keely announces she is going to go to the car to get her drink.  So...I'm now alone.  In a Bingo Hall.  With a lot of toothless people staring at me.  Let the fingernail biting begin.

Kim finally showed up, fought her way through the haze, choking and sputtering her way to our table and looked as nervous as I felt.  3 newbies.  Not a sole talking to us, not a clue what to do.

Finally, Kendra and her crew show up and show us the ropes. 

Let the fun begin!

When you pay your money, the not so friendly lady up front hands you this entire pile of craziness that you are supposed to make sense of.  There are like 3 gazillion bingo boards that are assembled in packets, some that are flying around solo, small door prize tickets...just a whole pile of Bingo Goodness.

Kendra and Kelsi (being the wise, experienced Bingo players) showed us what to do, answered my thousands of questions and were very patient throughout the entire night.

Who knew that there were about 104 different ways to play Bingo.  It's not just your traditional up, down, diagonal and across business anymore.  There are things like starbursts, crazy T's, floating 6 packs, postage stamps and picture frames.  This information might have excited me if I had time to actually look at any of those types of Bingos to see if I was winning.  I was so worried about daubing (we played something like 28 cards for EACH game!) I just kept saying this, over and over. "Kendra, check my cards, Kendra, check my cards."  I was totally relying on her to yell Bingo for me if need be.

I knew going with Kendra and the girls was going to be a blast.  However, I didn't know that I was going to laugh nearly as much as I did.  And, I came home with more than I left with.  Always a bonus.  Don't get excited, I didn't get to yell Bingo, which was my ultimate goal.  But, Kim's ticket got called for a door prize, which we were sure would be  free pass for next week.  But it was really $50.00.  AND...her number was called on the "Good Neighbor" Door Prize, so I GOT $25.00 JUST FOR SITTING NEXT TO HER!  Wahoo!

Here are some very valuable lessons I learned in my first Bingo experience.

1. Buttoning your pants at the Bingo Hall is optional.

2.  People are SERIOUS when they play Bingo.  (There was a lady one table over from us, who I affectionately named BULLDOG, that was overhead shouting such things as, "Your Mama!", "Get the H*** outta here!", "New Caller!" and a whole lotta F bombs.

3. Bingo is not an activity where you can people watch.  There are PLENTY of people that draw your attention, but you just don't have time.

4. I think you can only be a super serious Bingo player if you have a Bingo Bag, complete with a whole rainbow of daubers and your good luck charms spread all around you on the table.

5. Don't even consider breathing during the lightening round.  It won't happen.

6.  You don't have to wear a bra to Bingo.

7. Cheering when you win is frowned upon.  Unless your name is Arthur.  Arthur appreciated our cheering. The rest of the table didn't.

Kendra says if we go two more times, we're officially Bingo Babes and she'll buy us a T-shirt.  It might be worth it.

The whole night was stressful.  Keely has her cards (all for ONE game!) lined up and is ready to go!

I was really glad Jill was as confused as we were.

Kim is not overly happy that I am keeping her from her daubing duties!

Kendra won $50 on some Weasel game that I don't understand.  Hooray for her, though!

Kendra is the only one who is truly is happy because she's the only one who knows what's going on!